My favourite ever Halloween costume concept came from Christina Ricca’s Wednesday Addams – she’s at a Halloween party and is asked what she’s supposed to be. She fixes the asker with that unsettling glower and says that she’s a homicidal maniac – they look just like everybody else.
That in mind, I have a Halloween party to go to and not much time to devote to a costume. Here are the ideas* I’ve had thus far:
- The 200th anniversary of Kiss. The issue with this one is that Gene Simmons seems like he might be litigious. Plus who has the time to get the make-up right while also sourcing a cheap zimmerframe?
- Miley Cyrus – lipstick, a vest and underpants; spiky hair. Maybe a hammer to fellate.
- Billy Ray Cyrus – double denim, soul patch, tears.
- Identity thief – dress like I normally do but use a different voice and claim that my real name is Steve but that I’m currently known as this guy I found on Facebook.
- Christopher Walken going to a Halloween party dressed as his Max Shreck character from Batman Returns.
- Chris De Burgh – jacket with rolled-up sleeves, guitar, massive eyebrows. Done. Optional blow-up doll in a red dress. Obviously.
- The Easter Bunny – they’ve already got Christmas displays up in the shops, so you might as well do it and claim holiday confusion.
- 1 Shade of Grey – but only if someone else does 50 Shades of Grey and goes dressed as a paint chart. Wear a grey t-shirt with some jeans. And ruin their night.
Feel free to borrow or steal these ideas and because I’m clearly struggling for ideas, comments are for sharing (I won’t give you any credit).
*I had lots more, actually quite funny ideas, but they were all so unbelievably offensive even the internet probably couldn’t cope with them.