Party Animals

The flowers were, of course, beautifully arranged. “The lily represents both marriage and death. Such a heavy weight of symbolism for such a delicate thing.” Goose said to Badger. It was the sort of thing he said. “I heard the old man died in bed, not his own, and not from sleeping.” Hyena was such…

New Year’s Revolutions

I found Cary Elwes down the back of a sofa. It all started in a lift, an…elevator. Apropos of nothing, some cat started complaining about an eyelash trapped in his eye like a simile of your choice. I suggested he try blinking, he said ‘Abe Lincoln?’ and from there it all got a bit Mel…

Now You See It, Now You Don’t: Ducks Vs Rabbits

There was a time when the gods were animals or took their forms, and the gods were natural phenomena or took their forms. Anansi the spider, who played tricks for kicks and Thunder Thor, who didn’t. Others took animal forms at will – Isis the bird, for example, or Zeus the chauvinist pig. Through the…

Even Reverse Cowgirls Get The Blues

It’s hot as hell down in Sin City where Frank Miller calls the tunes. In a rundown dive on the sleazy side of town a man sits on a stool at a battered piano. He’s unshaven and blinded milky-white in one eye. The other is bloodshot from all the years of cheap whisky. He plays…

When Star Trek Encountered The Internet

Captain’s blog 26112013 point 3.142. Starfleet has assigned the Enterprise to explore a region of space called the internet: the final, final frontier. Early readings have been unsettling to my crew who’ve found the internet mostly to consist of pictures of kittens and film clips of ladies doing bedroom things. There’s a cat pun in…